Tips for Caregivers During the COVID-19 Crisis
As the COVID-19 crisis continues to impact families through isolation, financial strains, medical concerns, etc., its vital for families to find ways to mitigate stress. CornerHouse’s Family Service team of therapists and case managers have put together some thoughts and resources for you to lean on during this time:
Take Care of Yourself
Know that you are not alone in this. Times will be challenging or frustrating, but you and your children will get through this. Take each day as it comes. Take a few moments at the end of the day to reflect on how that day went and how or what you can do to make it better or make changes tomorrow.
Work to change your mindset and view this as an opportunity to spend time with your children and connect in ways that you aren’t always able. Try new things together. Live in the moment with your loved ones and be present.
Patience is essential with your loved ones and with yourself as well. Go easy on yourself and allow for grace and flexibility. Know that you may not accomplish all that you wanted today – but it’s okay.
Get enough sleep. If you are well rested, you’re more likely to facilitate a better day together.
Keep a Routine
Routines are very important – not only for children, but for the whole family. Knowing what is coming next within the day can relieve some pressure. Having a plan and explaining it to your loved ones can be helpful. Also having children help create the routine, can give them some independence and choice with what they are doing day to day.
Schedule in expected breaks. Taking breaks and giving yourself a calm space to go to where you can shut the door and relax or be alone for a few minutes is ok and encouraged. Schedule it into the daily routine giving children an opportunity for alone play.
Also, schedule time to address worries which might reduce frustration that comes from being distracted.
Work to schedule in time to stay connected and reduce isolation. Schedule face time or phone calls for yourself and your children with friends and family.
Ask for help and emotional support from your community. If you are feeling isolated and alone, do not try to get through this time without the emotional support of others you feel comfortable receiving support from. Call people you trust. This could be friends, families, a mentor, your therapist.
Keeping Busy
Allow for extra play time, outside time, scheduled time alone playing in own room, etc.
Proactively create alone-time space and building time for it into the day so it becomes an expectation and not a reaction in the heat of the moment.
Empower kids to generate ideas for activities, dinner conversations, what they can do during breaks, etc.
Take advantage of online resources including free educational resources, virtual tours of museums and zoos, free yoga and mindfulness activities, etc. Check out internet companies like Comcast and Spectrum are offering free services to families with school-aged children.
Basic Needs
Visit your school district’s web page for additional resources. If you do not have internet access, contact your child’s school to get connected.
United Way 2-1-1 is providing loads of support right now via phone to help connect families to various community resources. They can call 651-291-0211 or text their zip code to 898-211.
Addressing Emotions and Behaviors
When emotions and behaviors are off track, take an opportunity to slow down and reflect your child’s emotion back to them. Teaching children about their emotions when it happens can be important so that they have real life examples. It is also important for parents and caregivers to acknowledge their own emotions and explain their feelings.
Sending kids to a safe and neutral space like their room when they are acting out is okay, too, just reframe it as "I see you need some space to yourself so it's time for you to go into your room now. I'll come check on you in 5 (or however many) minutes."
Take time to reflect on the feeling or need your child might be communicating with their behaviors or words. Challenge and redirect problem behaviors but start with that reflection. For example, "It is really frustrating when you can't have what you want. It's ok to feel angry, but it's not ok to yell at me." "You seem really angry right now, which is okay, but we don't hit each other in this family." Then give child a break (could be going into another room for 5 minutes or it could be a physical break like running around the house 3 times, doing 25 jumping jacks, etc.). Also give an expectation for appropriate behavior complete with what will happen if they choose to continue the unwanted behavior (consequence).
Model taking breaks for yourself if your emotions are too escalated to model healthy behavior for your child. It is important for you to cool down yourself and be regulated before trying to discipline or respond to your child.
Caregivers can’t help children calm their bodies and minds if our adult bodies and minds are not calm first. Practice remaining calm even through the chaos of a child’s melt down, acting out, and if you can’t that’s okay go take that break for yourself before coming back to help the child calm.
Safety Planning
Be aware of where your child is spending their time online and limit their contacts to only people that they actually know and to those who they have a healthy relationship. Ask open ended questions about their online activity instead of yes or no questions.
If you live in a home in which violence is a concern, please reach out for support to ensure that safety plans are put into place. Safety planning can range from having a bag packed with essential items to having crisis line numbers available to teaching their children how to call 911 in case of an emergency.
Call 911 for emergency crisis situations and safety related concerns
Hennepin County Mobile Crisis Response teams (for mental health crisis situations) COPE (18 & older): 612-596-1223, (17 and younger) 612-348-2233.
All counties have their own mental health crisis number to call as well that could be located online.
Minnesota Day One Crisis Hotline (for any domestic violence, sexual abuse, human trafficking, etc. related concerns) 1-866-223-1111.
Parent/Caregiver Guide to Helping Families Cope with Coronavirus